The reason I didn’t ask you is because (as I said) I didn’t trawl back over the thread.
I saw Shekes suggestion/proposal in the post I quoted, and followed it up.
Yes, this is not ideal behaviour on my part - we all think that everyone should read all our posts in detail and absorb them before responding.
Real life, in a forum, is not like that.
I really do appreciate you holding a mirror up to me:
It’s a shame that it comes across that way, but I’m at a loss how to do better, unless I “walk on eggshells” every time I post.
I appreciate that this could be paraphrased as “unless I take care to be considerate every time I post”, which is something I would aspire to, but there’s only so much a person can do 
I wonder if you are interested in how this feels from my perspective?
This insight would need me to explain my (voluntary - IE no one makes me do it
) role here, which might sound self-serving or grandiose, which is why I hesitate.
Forum regulars know that I’m one of two people who contributes code in an ongoing way to OGS. It is a rare day when I am not doing something for OGS that is not “playing Go”.
I’m a fairly dedicated and passionate contributor (or so it feels to me)
This means that I try to keep up with all the input we’re getting, and have to read and accept every post that starts off with a complaint about the “dumb designers and developers” - that’s me - and “flaws and bugs” - that’s my work.
I’m actively involved in supporting moderation with moderation features, which means that I have to read vast quantities of rude complaints from the unpleasant side of our world that most users (thankfully) don’t get to see.
Despite best intents to be open minded, this does set a certain mind-set.
I need to skim threads to stay across them. I need to cut to the chase to find out what the actual problem is.
Otherwise I’d spend all day reading and no time doing and my head would explode trying to track all the tangents that forum discussions take.
And I do feel defensive when I perceive criticism, unduly so unfortunately.
For time to time people pull me up about this, and I try to take it on board.
But from my perspective there is no need to be so defensive about my comments. I’m not bullying or criticising intentionally, I’m trying to get to what is actionable for the best.