Just in my defense (not that I canât be that dense, I wasnât in this particular case 
), I knew the ladder wouldnât work because I was missing one stone. I was trying to see how it could go, exploring possible reactions.
Could you give some more details? I didnât think I was attacking, so now Iâm confused. I get the jist of what @txwolf says, but I canât put it on the board. 
Is this a typo? I think D18 is taken.
LOL that was the misclick! It was a glitch or something, I wasnât even ready to choose a move, I was just hovering and thinking, so I panicked a bit after that. (To answer @Lys 's question, I did click undo, but more in a knee-jerk way, not actually asking or expecting. My opponent played after that almost immediately, either didnât see it or didnât grand it, but it didnât really matter to me.)
I found this
Are we talking about this? Iâll read that up later.
Thatâs a new concept for meâŚ
I think this whole move comment is too advanced for me. 
What ko threat did I lose?..
I am now. 
For some reason I got afraid that my whole group there would die, I wasnât necessarily going for the stone, more trying to crawl out.
The huge error I realized one second too late was playing away after M15. The moment I played H12 I saw it.
In the M8 exchange, I had a rough idea that I could save the thing, so I wasnât too worried.
However, AI says the move that lost me the game was actually L5, and the funny/ sad thing is I was contemplating which side of the black stones I should play, completely missing the fact that those stones needed saving.
Fun fact, after I passed and my opponent played at D2, I actually stood up and walked around the room thinking in my head what was the killing move. I knew it was in there and I wanted that corner, dammit. It took me I think about 5 minutes walking up and down until I was sure in my mind that the thing couldnât live.
(not that I wonât die in the future in a similar situation, Iâm still me)