Speaking in terms of big brush strokes, I feel like you have a difficult time zooming out from the nitty gritty of TACTICS to see how your local exchanges work in the broader scheme of STRATEGY. So yeah, it’s not just a factor of becoming better at individual contact-fight exchanges - it’s about being able to strategically pick your battles so that you’re making the most efficient decisions for each stage of the game.
I feel like reading through these 3 articles could help you see a different way of approaching the game:
19x19 for Beginners: Part 3: Playing a Balanced Opening
19x19 for Beginners: Part 4: Joseki Basics
19x19 for Beginners: Part 5: The Stages of the Game
Good luck!