Two new members recruited: Putin receives €50 Amazon voucher from NATO
For each mediated member there is an Amazon voucher worth 25 euros. NATO’s referral program is having an effect. Thanks to Vladimir Putin, Finland and Sweden will soon be two new countries in the military alliance.
BRUSSELS / MOSCOW – “Wow, cool, thanks! I can really use that now that I’ve destroyed our economy lol,” Vladimir Putin explains while looking at the voucher. The war in Ukraine fully paid off for him. “Alexa, how much does a new long table cost?” What, 100 euros?” He stares thoughtfully at a map of the world.
“I still have to recruit two more members, hey Shoigu, look it up on Google Maps for the fastest route to Estonia, but via Moldova. And how many tanks did the Ukrainian peasants actually leave us?”
“50 euros, that is the equivalent of 50000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000” “What should I buy in the meantime?” he asks his last remaining advisor, who is sitting at the other end of the table and whose answer is delayed since he is three time zones away. Before the advisor answers, the Kremlin despot is already adding item to item to the shopping cart.
"Maybe a self-stirring coffee cup? Because oe24 writes I might have Parkinson’s and what if I can grab my spoon so well? Or look there! A BBQ apron with a fun six pack print. That would be great for the next propaganda video!” laughs Putin.
But then the shock. “3.99 shipping costs? Mr. Bezos shouldn’t play, otherwise I’ll march into space with him in no time at all," he gets annoyed and removes the organic CBD oil from the virtual shopping cart. After entering the “NATO-REFERRAL-2022” coupon, the Russian dictator sits back contentedly and rubs his hands. “I keep saying it, we’re winning the economic war!”
Convinced by the offer
In any case, the recruited members are also satisfied. “Following our initial skepticism, Mr. Putin made a lasting impression on us about the advantages of a defense alliance,” explains Finland’s Prime Minister Sanna Marin, referring to the image of a completely destroyed Mariupol.
Finland and Sweden save themselves the activation fee for their membership as part of the recommendation. The NATO letter of protection is also free for one year. Also included is the popular Nato voucher booklet, which offers great discounts. “Wow, when you buy three F-35 jets, you get a fourth one for free! And look, even free admission to the Schönbrunn Zoo and 50% off a ticket to the Roncalli circus, wow!” laughs Marin and clicks on “Add to shopping cart”.
thanks for reminding me!
