Apologies for the confusion! I was looking for a strong accusation with negativity but thought an additional insult would be helpful in making the point. It’s unfortunate that that was the first one that came to mind.
More on topic, I’m trying to work though the exact thing we’re trying to say and I wonder if it’s less about phrasing the rebuke differently and more about showing empathy.
“We know it’s frustrating if you feel your opponent is cheating. The right thing to do in this case is to report and allow the mods to deal with it. Please don’t take it up directly with your opponent as this can be interpreted as harassing them”