I said I would keep on trying, but it’s just not fun for me any more. I can only play much more weakly than I could two months ago, for a reason I don’t understand. It’s much different to lose strength and be aware of what you lost than to never have had it in the first place.
It’s boring to lose again and again, and it’s depressing to have a winrate graph that goes straight downwards. It’s a shame, because Go was one of very few things at which I had any skill, and I’ve given it huge amounts of time over the past four years despite rarely making progress. I wanted to hang onto that. Even though I’ve got nothing much else to fill my time, I think it would be more comfortable to do nothing than something I used to enjoy that now makes me sad.
So, I’m going to put this stage of my life to bed now and set out on a new one, although I don’t expect it to be any more successful. It’s been fun, but the time has come for me to step out.
Farewell, Go!
