The Dark Side of Go

The darkest I have encountered, for myself, especially in connection with depression, is OGA—Online Go Anxiety:

I was able to overcome most of it when I discovered the first Go server where I could play correspondence games (Dragon Go Server). That way I could also chat with my opponents and make friends—and I realized that, for me, this OGA doesn’t exist when I play with friends. And usually I treat acquaintances as friends :slight_smile:


And then there is this phenomenon of bad conscience when I realize that I am winning a game and could have stopped destroying my poor opponent many moves ago and just go on closing borders and fortifying weak spots.
Some games that I win feel really brutal to me, especially with beginners … however not with all beginners—some clearly say that I should play my hardest, and then I don’t worry about their feelings.
But otherwise it really is a test for my conscience: ideally I’d just be able to do it like strong players: count and make sure I win by ½ point but no more, which fits in with what little I understand of “Eastern philosophy”, Buddhism and Eastern martial arts: use the least force necessary to defend myself, but no more.

Well … I’ve read that in Japan there’s this saying that “Go is a mirror for the mind/soul” … I don’t always like what I see there but to me it seems to be a good exercise to confront myself with who and what I am.

So… not dark in itself, but a rather tool for introspect, for checking what darkness there might be inside :slight_smile:

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Some find Go stressful, others find it calming. I find it calming and relaxing. The slow, quiet thoughtfulness has an almost meditative quality I find. Playing Go was one of various stress reduction techniques I used that got me through my PhD. And a friend of mine at my Go club claims that this calming nature of the game cured his high blood pressure.

Of course, this is merely anecdotal evidence, no scientific rigour, etc. but some interesting perspectives on the potential healing power of Go.

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