Yeppers. I’ll write down a set of instructions for you and record via twitch how I study (when I do, * cough *) pro games, tsumego etc. so everyone knows what I mean.
Your feedback (diary style) would ideally make its way to me in form of personal messages. If that isn’t possible (I think brand-new forum accounts can’t send pm yet), I will figure out something else.
Ah, that’s a great point. From a cognitive-behavioral therapy standpoint, there’s only one solution: To play. Playing on OGS gives you the opportunity to do more than that, though: Malkovich mode (click on “chat”, bottom right). I would suggest you record important decisions or points where you don’t know what to do, so when you review your own game, you won’t have to go “why did i do this?” but “oh, i wanted to do x and thought y would happen, but z happened”. That way you vocalize and thereby shift the focus from emotional (i want / don’t want…, i am afraid that…, i feel…) to rational (my goal was, my method was, the result was,…), which I expect to allow you to relax more when playing live.
Play with a time setting you’re comfortable with, but keep it somewhat fast (<=20min main time, 30sec byo yomi). That way you can fit more games in your schedule, get more comfortable (and sooner) and you already have a good starting point for a review with a stronger player.
Just know that during the game, everyone except for your opponent can read it and after the game, everyone can read your malkovich notes, so… keep it “clean”.
If you’d like to get an idea of how to comment on your own moves, you can check out… pretty much everyone else’s Go-streams… or (shameless plug) my latest video: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/255931992 . From around 01:31:32 on I play some viewers and explain my train of thought.