Hi, I am a Go player and also an comic artist.
I am planning to create a series of Go comic to promote Go to the public.
Can give me some feedback? Thank you !
Here is my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/igokid
Hi, I am a Go player and also an comic artist.
I am planning to create a series of Go comic to promote Go to the public.
Can give me some feedback? Thank you !
Here is my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/igokid
Bad: What are the stones meaning?
Try: What’s the meaning of the stones?
or: What’s happening?!
or: I have no clue what’s happening!
Try: Go is so boring.
Try: A dragon is fighting its way out! So exciting!
Try: I’ll spend my whole life studying Go!
Cool.
Why are you only aiming at children?
Maybe some more character/personality in the players’ faces?
Especially kids want to identify with a hero or a villain.
Idea:
(player 1 cuts a string of stones); Ha, I cut your group into two
(player 2 picks up an axe and chops the goban into two): My cut is bigger than yours
I like ’em Give us more
Even What’s the meaning of the stones? seems a little formal, I think What do the stones mean? would be a better colloquial phrasing.
And A dragon’s fighting its way out! – a contraction is going to fit better here.
Brilliant comics! I have a couple of thoughts:
You can apply these things yourself. If you know a native speaker, they could help with future comics. But they’re still really good!
Thanks for your comment!