I’m only learning myself, but my observation about your responses in that game are that you “invite” the wall play.
In the first instance, bottom left, you offered the cut immediately and he took it. Straight away you and he were entangled in a sequence of forcing moves that he could take advantage of. Note that you also got a wall out of it. But if you didn’t want that to happen, I think you needed to make that corner “settle” rather than “explode”.
When the action moved to the top left your response was the calmer one initially - you extended instead of hane.
But then at E16, F16 you got combative again. This isn’t him being the wall builder, it’s you!
Extensions like F14 and F12 are common in your play, and probably are what feels “light” to you, but actually they are just forcing the opponent to continue matching your play in that area, and before you have properly settled (with eyes etc).
If you had played C16 B16 instead of E16 F16 your opponent likely would have followed you to the left edge, allowing you to make the next big move in sente - say K16.
The tradeoff is that when your opponent attaches to your corner stone, you would chose to say “OK, you can have the outside of this small area for a short while, while I settle, but then I’m going to be the one to make the next big move.”
Instead, you tend to respond with “how dare you attach to me, I am going to surround you and cut you and make you pay” and then a moment later “oops, how about we forget this fight and I extend out of here”. To which your oponent always says “no, lets keep fighting, I like this wall you’re forcing me to make”.
I think that Dwyrin’s “Basic play” videos might be helpful - they are a series where he experiments playing with no fighting only making shape.