Go Jokes


How is Go related to Trump? They both have a Comey.


What do male cats and Go players have in common?

Take away their stones and they can no longer mark their territory.


Q: Why did the cyclops die?


So… yeah. I think that’s it :smiley:


What is Elvis Presley’s Go rank?

Ten kyu. Ten kyu very much.


I recently saw a go-player frantically following a man with a dog, constantly muttering to himself:

“How is he not dead?!?”

With each passing day, the posts in this forum get a higher rank.

What do you do when you’ve finished a game? You Go away!


What is a rollin’ stone with aji?
A rolling stone.


Why did the Go stone go to the gym?

To get in good shape and see how thick, solid, and strong it could get.


How did the culinary student win her most recent game of go?

With an excellent reduction.


What can a non-vanishing continuous tangent vector field on a go stone tell you about itself?

Hint 1: Examples of a [non-zero tangent vector]
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangent_space#/media/File:Tangentialvektor.svg) (arrow) and a continuous vector field (arrows at points on curves covering the stone that point in the direction of their curve and change lengths and directions smoothly).

Hint 2: An interactive demo (tap to reset) that shows the technical answer.

Solution: ⅄on ɔɐu,ʇ ʞoɯᴉ˙

The real joke is that I spent time making this. (Bet someone will like that one!)


I knew an argumentative go player called Ted O’Murray, who always had to have the last word.


I don’t get it.


What do you call La Brea Woman?


What is another term for IED?
A nakade.


What Go tactic usually fails at happy hour?
A kakari.


What Go tactic do twin sisters use to make a connection?
The yougakari.


How is the role of Othello traditionally cast?
By nigiri.


If there is death in the hane why do bees risk eating it?


What power-up does Mario use when he wants to be elsewhere.
The tenuki suit.


How would you describe a newborn child?
It’s iki.