Go Jokes


What are my eyes when I’m asleep?


What is a Go stone that fell in the toilet?


What did the goban say when the sumo wrestler sat on it?


If grand champion suteneko Paladin suteishi’s what does his business card say?
Half Cat - Will Travel.


The first thing a kid learns walking in the pasture on a New England dairy farm is looking ahead for cowpies. What Go term do Japanese dairy farmers use to warn American visitors about their fields?


If four Go stones catch one stone in a small lie what do they give it?
One ponnuki-o.


Pierre was walking thought a dangerous section of Paris’ red light district with his bodyguard Tsunami who had only begun learning French. Suddenly a butcher who had made a back door delivery to a brothel stepped out. Tsunami reacted instantly, drawing his gun. Horrified, Pierre yelled “Non! Le boucher”! Tsunami shot the unlucky man through the head. Through hysterical tears Pierre entreated “Pourquoi, Tsunami, il n’était qu’un boucher”!? Tsunami plaintively replied "Oh mon dieu, Pierre, mais dans la terreur, vous avez pleuré “Non! Le Boushi!”.


Q: Why are careful architects strong at Go?
A: Because they know how to handle the ladder well!


We used to say that we liked to play GO because you could get stoned without being busted. Of course, that was way back in the 1970s.



when I first learned about Atari, I realized that I was in Atari my whole childhood.
Atari (referring to the gaming company)


I always thought that declaring “Atari” was so genteel. In my gaming group the usual practice was to yell “Die M$th#@#&$r!!”

Of course, the language would get substantially coarser than that after more beer and Jack Daniels. The level of play would by then be devolved enough to make a GO Master move to Tibet and become a hermit.



Not exactly a joke, but a pleasant thought:

I’d like to play go with M&Ms. The players bring their own, but the winner gets to eat them all.


Gaming like that I bet you’d even get my wife to play.


I introduced Go to my wife using Junior Mints and Mentos as stones. And yes, we ate the prisoners.


Why could Santa be a strong go player? Because he sees everything.


They make black-coloured mints? That’s just wrong!


Dark brown. Close enough :wink:


What about wrapped Starbursts? They’d be so colourful. I guess Lemon (yellow) for White and Blackcurrant (Purple) for Black; those would complement each other on the colour wheel.


My feeling is they will be too big. You will need a custom made Go board for that.


Brown and Yellow M & Ms would touch my wife right where she likes to be touched.