Hello Kibitzers. I read your posts and appreciate the encouraging comments.
You are right of course, I did not know how I would feel during the game. I apologise for disappointing everybody and showing bad sportsmanship. However I would like to describe how playing this game felt to me.
Imagine playing a game with 7 strangers (it was said that we should try to play unbiased, so this is how I viewed it). The game ultimately results in a ranking of these players from first to last place. How well you do largely depends on what the other players think of you, i.e. how trustworthy / likeable you are. If you do well, does this mean you are a trustworthy / likeable person? On the other hand if you do badly, what does this say about you? Perhaps it is my own fault, but I asked myself these questions and was unable to stay calm.
I wanted to avoid direct conflict but failed miserably. I teamed up with PiggyStardust against bugcat because I wanted to do well, but at the same time I felt bad for bugcat.
Later on when PiggyStardust played D4 (in round 9), I had a bad consciousness for asking yebellz if they would “together move towards PiggyStardust”, who I had teamed up with so far. I asked myself “what is wrong with you?”.
My decision to stop communication was an attempt to get some emotional distance. Later when Sanonius, yebellz and PiggyStardust decided to cooperate to capture my stones - I could understand Sanonius motivation, because I had attacked them for the entire game. PiggyStardust and yebellz I had not attacked, but I thought I had angered them by suggesting betraying their alliance, and they didn’t forgive me. Being called a “silent destroyer” and a “lying knave”, I felt like I was rejected by people who I had hoped to befriend.
I understand it is “just a game”, but what if I told you that I’m not sure which I would rather call it; a game or a social experiment.
Unfortunately I cannot imagine playing another game of this caliber without getting too emotional.
Edit I’d like to add: In contrast to what other people suggested, I did not view myself separated from the in-game character. When I play Go, I express a part of myself on the board. This game was no exception.
Furthermore, I’m not used to having my word be distrusted. I felt like I was constantly being tested, and my words were questioned and / or interpreted as a ploy to get sympathy.
When, as a player, you are just a small fry and really struggling, it’s very easy, I think, to be taken advantage of. Eventually, I didn’t do much diplomacy and communication anymore, because my short-term goal, to eliminate @martin3141 or Haze just to survive, was at odds with the goals of other players and I did not see a point to convince them otherwise. And even if Martin, Haze and I had made an alliance against the big shots - it would not have taken much to turn one against the other two.
Here’s my thoughts about the current game position.
From the last couple moves it looks like yebellz may have turned against PiggyStardust. It is possible that yebellz and le_4TC will cooperate to forcibly disconnect Leiras stones with moves H10 and J10. However I’m unsure if this desirable for them. If they are confident that Leiras group will get captured later down the line, they are not in a hurry. Actually removing the stones from the board opens up free space for Haze_with_a_Z to play on.
I’m also thinking PiggyStardust might be making a similar argument concerning the orange stones. If they trust that orange has stopped playing, they may be better off trying to extend oranges liberties to make it difficult for other players to access the lower-left territory. Maybe this is the reason why yebellz decided to move in the top-left?
Hm, if either Blue or Green are gone, it will be difficult for White to attack the remaining one. On the other hand, White for sure knows this too and is maybe content to help eliminate the upper Green group with help from Sky. I really wonder what Leira is scheming right now. He seems to have made a pet out of Haze for the moment. In the long run, maybe, he will sacrifice himself so Haze can come out as a winner.
I had that kind of hard time with diplo games too, it was classic one IRL and you need play with really good players in spirit. Even so you better don’t play too often, like no more as once a month or so.
So Yebellz has the most stones, but in terms of area, which is also counting how long a player can last by placing stones inside their territory then this is a rough estimate below - not really including dame that could be split, giving the bottom left corner to piggy, but not removing Martins stones for the moment. Kind of discounting stones that will be captured easily, since a player will lose area/stone count once they get captured.
Player
Area
Potential Eyes
le_4TC
27
E=3
PiggyStardust
37
Lots? ≤ 8?
Orange
10
0
Haze_with_a_Z
23
E≤4
yebellz
29
3≤E≤ 6
Leira
17
E ≤ 2
Not really making a distinction between solid eyes and ‘weak’ eyes which could reduced with teamwork.
So Piggy is probably in the lead long term. I don’t know if at the moment anyone gains but yebellz if they work to go after piggy. Even then it might be hard to reduce piggy to four eyes.
Maybe yebellz and haze could make a deal to remove the orange stones. If it’s done early enough, maybe haze and yebellz can try make extra points on the bottom and bottom left.
I can’t imagine yebellz agreeing to capture say Haze if say leira and le_4tc decided to make peace and try that. Depending on how Haze captures the stones, they could still have an eyespace that could be attacked by 2-3 players.
If piggy didn’t have a clear lead, then maybe yebellz could just try save some of the dame between them and Leira as shared eyespace and help them not be captured by le_4tc and just wait out the game. I think maybe removing the orange stones and keeping Leira alive could be a ok strategy and maybe the D2 stone can become active.