The Red/Blue button thought experiment reminded me of a literally fantastic “philosophical” text that I had read back in 2002.
It was not written by a philosopher, but it was made as a “response” to the TV fad of those days, which was Reality TV shows which put a few people, closed them in a house and profitted off the generated drama (things like “Big Brother”, “the Farm”, “survivor” etc).
A lot of people used to laugh at the contestants claiming that they sold off and became a “ridicule” just for the hopes of gaining a monetary price. This bloke came up with this (I just did the translation now, as well as some slight changes):
Suddenly we’ve all become compasionate.
No to war, no to blood, what did the innocent’s do, burn the people that kill innocents, burn any interests and all that stuff.
But let us not go that far.
Look at that poor child that is begging on the streets, when in fact it is being exploited by its parents.
Look at that poor old stooping lady, she just fell down by the weight of the supermarket bags. Where are its relatives to care for her?
We live in a world full of evil, where most people are only looking out of their own personal interests. Thankfully we, the people that still retain compation and empathy, also exist. And in general we do not let money blind our morals and we do not let our own self-interest take over our lives and so forth…
…naaaah, who are we kidding? Compassion? Let’s be honest for a bit.
Scene 1
You see that lady with that small dog and you go talk to her and you ask her very nicely if she can let you kick her dog for 50 euros.
– “Our you out of you mind???” She replies indignantly.
But you insist:
– I will give you 100 euros to kick your dog.
– You are certainly insane.
– Fine. I’ll offer you 200 euros.
– What are you trying to pull off here?
– 1000 euros.
– 1000 euros!? When you say kick, how hard will you kick it?
– Not very hard. 1500 Euros final offer.
– I am speechless. You are mad, but that’s a lot of money for a small kick. Ok…
kicking sound
Scene 2
– Hey you!
– Yes?
– Can I spit on you?
– What?
– I’ll give you 1000 euros to spit on you.
– Get the f- out of here. Not even with a ten thousand euros.
– Ok, then I’ll give 20000 euros to spit on you
– 20000 euros?? Just like that?
– Yup!
– Ok, but do it quickly so noone notices.
spitting sound
Scene 3
You are in a town square where families are enjoying the sunny day.
– Hello
– I’ll give you 10000 euros to kick that kid out of its bicycle.
– Oh, I see. Are you from Candid Camera?
– Nope.
– Then piss off you weirdo.
– I’ll give you 20000 euros to kick that kid out of its bicycle.
– Are you mentally ill or something?
– I’ll give you 30000 euros to kick that kid out of its bicycle.
– What did the kid do to you? What’d going on here?
– Fine. I’ll give you 40000 euros to kick that kid out of its bicycle.
– Why?
– None of your business. 50000 euros.
– 50000 euros! And what if the kids parents see and pursue me?
– Then take 50000 euros extra to pay for the fine, the reparations and the hospital bill. If you are not feeling any remorse, feel free to keep them all. There you go, 100000 euros.
– Oh my God… Ok…
crashing sound
Scene 4
You are at a mall with escalators.
– Hello.
– I am offering you 25000 euros to push an old lady down the escalators and make it look like an accident so you won’t go to jail. Pretend you slipped and fell on her or something.
– Get away from me you maniac!
– I’ll make it 50000 euros.
– I told you to leave me alone.
– Then I’ll offer you 100000 euros. Just to push an old lady down the escalators.
– A hundred thousand euros! Are you mad? What do you think I am, a hitman?
– 200000 euros and you know that no hitman is getting that kind of money.
– Two hundred thousand euros… Will the old lady die?
– I do not care. I just want you to push her. 300000 euros
– Are you waiting for a specific one or any old lady.
– Any will do. 350000 euros final offer or I’ll talk to some other fellow.
– Fine! Fine, give me that money…
no sound effect here, for proprietal reasons
Dear reader…
You can make a test to yourself. Or put that test to your friends next time you meet them ( @Regenwasser might like that idea. 
):
Ask yourself then:
- How many euros would somebody have to offer me to stand there and get spat on?
- How many euros would somebody have to offer me to kick someone elses dog?
- How many euros would somebody need to offer me to push an old lady from an escalator?
- How many euros would somebody need to offer me to rob a church?
… and so forth.
Do not put an upper limit on the amount of euros. As much as it takes. I think that you are now getting my point. It is not the amount of money that matters. What matters is that there is an amount after which you’d take the money and do it.
Who wouldn’t push an old lady (who would soon die anyway from old age or illness) from an escalator for, let’s say, 1.000.000.000 euros? 
Come on. Do not hurry to decry me as a scumbag, so that you can pretend to be valorous, because you’d be a hypocrite and we both know it.
You insist? Fine. Let’s continue.
You might point out that in most cases the amount of money would be so large that it wouldn’t make practical sense. Who would ever give that much money for a thing like that?
Aaah, so your mind went there, eh? How sneaky of you. 
But what if it wasn’t a hypothetical and someone did really offer you that kind of money?
You might say that you’ll feel guilt and you’d be tormented by regret afterwards.
Fine.
Double the money. Still no?
Triple it. Nothing?
Ok, 10x it or even 100x it. As much as you like.
Guilt? What guilt? Besides with that kind of money you could build ten nursing homes and benefit a thousand old women like the one you pushed. Are you fine now? Do we have a deal? Turns out, in the end, you might even convince yourself that you are doing the right thing. 
This is why I am saying that there are not “good people and bad people”. Or “people that look only for their own interest or people that look after the common good”. The only thing that differs is the amount of money involved. Do not sit in front of the TV or the computer pretending to feel sorrow for the plight of others. At heart you are relieved that you are not in those people’s place and you are relieved that there is much worse things in life than what you are going through. The only reason you might be sorry is that other people will get the money and that’s fine…
And do not pretend to be people with high values and say “look at these clowns at those reality shows” or that “only an idiot would go to that show and become a laughingstock” or this and that… What amount of money would it take to convince you to take a dump at the middle of the town square during the town fair?
You might say “enough is enough”, but I unlike you, I have no problem to admit it. Yes, I’d take a dump in the middle of the town square during the town fair. And right in the middle of the Acropolis when it is full of tourists if need be. It would just take a lot lot lot lot lot more euro than you’d need to offer to most people.
Therefore the reasonable/logical conclusion is this:
“Your position in society and your moral superiority are directly analogous/equivalent to the amount of euros you’d have to be offered to take a dump in the middle of the Acropolis when it is full of tourists.”
(feel free to quote me on that)
– Published on Websloth around 2001
(I tried to see which of the two people that owned the website wrote it, but it is gone even from the wayback machine, so this now only exists in my own personal archive 
)
